Heavy Heart......

I have to admit I have been having a really hard time emotionally here lately!  And 99% of it is because I have to see and put my baby girl through so much each and every day!  I am TIRED and SICK of it!

Just a few weeks back I had a very scary experience!  I went to check my sweet girl while she was sleeping and the meter said "LOW under 20mg"!!!  I grabbed her up and jumped off her loft bed which for me is a feat because I am only 5' 2".  At first she would not respond, but then I finally got her to open her eyes (she still wasn't coherent) and got some smarties in her. It took her a good while to realize what was going on and where she was, I gave her a snack, and then she was back to a good bedtime number!  For those who don't know severe lows can be life threatening and so can severe highs which leads me to my next moment to share.....

Tonight I check Nevaeh's blood sugar before she goes to bed and she is 414 (crazy high)!!!  So I give her a correction but then realize as she tells me she has to pee again that she probably has ketones!!!  So we head to the bathroom and I check for ketones......sure enough she has large amounts of ketones (which is not good at all).  Ketones result when your sugars (glucose) is not being distributed properly within your cells via insulin then your body starts to use it's fat as an alternative fuel resulting in a toxic acid (known as ketones) to be released in your blood. When there are large amounts of ketones and the blood sugar stays high this is called DKA and is serious and can be life threatening. If caught quickly and taken care of by giving more insulin with a syringe and then changing the pump site you can avoid the dangers at the time.  We also need to make sure she drinks tons of water when she has ketones to flush them out.  If this is not caught within the first 3 hours most of the time you would need to head to the ER.  So back to the story.....I check her blood sugar again after finding out she has ketones and she is already gone up to 444!!! So I then give her an injection and changer her site.  Currently she is 313 so I think I have caught hers and corrected in time tonight!

 These are just some of the things that go on daily on top of the normal finger pricks all day long and site changes every few days and on and on.  I just HATE type 1 diabetes!  I am tired of seeing her go through this!  I'm tired of her being upset and crying about how she hates it!  I'm tired of seeing her fingers sore with spots all over them!  I'm tired of the sores the sites leave!  I'm tired of the belly aches the highs bring!  I'm tired of the emotions, the draining of energy, and the times she can't concentrate because of blood sugar highs and lows!  I could go on......I'm tired of it ALL!!!

My heart aches, is tired, and heavy for my sweet girl!

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